Jealousy is Ugly

Really, you would think with one kid in my house and lots of personal and friend and IVP experience with this TTC journey I would be able to shed some of the bitter jealousy upon learning of someone’s pregnancy. In fact, no. I am very much still an angry bitter lady – with the caveat that I am still genuinely happy for first time pregnancies. Babies past that and I am a bitter mess.

So obviously the last try was out. And the Clomi.d made me crazy this round. My acupuncturist said my liver was angry. Something was angry because once again we missed ovulation. Once again we took some swimmer and gave it a hail mary try with low hopes. Seems as you age your ovulation and LH surge windows can sometimes shrink. So now I will be testing with an OPK 2-3 times a day. Bloody Hell.



Filed under el nino

6 responses to “Jealousy is Ugly

  1. K

    I have been thinking about you and wondering what the outcome of your last cycle was. I’m sorry to hear it wasn’t a lucky one. Fingers crossed your acupuncturist gets your liver sufficiently un-angry and your BFP isn’t far behind.

  2. It’s hard to lose that jealousy, sadly.

  3. nutella

    Sorry. But sounds like you’ve got a good strategy for moving forward. Good luck!

  4. We’ve got our two and feel our family is complete, but as I get closer to the due date for the one we lost earlier this year, I totally understand the feelings of jealousy and bitterness.
    Hoping for lots of peace for you as you move forward…

  5. Man, that’s hard to cope with huh? i hear you – jealousy sucks ass.

  6. Kristin

    I happened upon your blog today and am glad I am not alone! My partner and I have one beautiful child but this year has been full of TTC NOs for us. It is SO frustrating. I now HATE when someone asks if we are going to have another baby and I too am jealous of those currently pg or were able to already have a second. Hang in there!

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